How To Discipline a Teenager That Won't Listen to Parents

Why do people dread the teenager years? It's because people think that teenagers notoriously don't listen to their parents. They put up walls, they won't look at you when you talk to them. They act like they have everything figured out and that you can't tell them anything. But it doesn't have to be that way.

There's actually a way to help teenagers listen to you. In fact, they want to listen to you. Let's be honest. They want to be understood, they want you to understand them. They want a bond and a connection with you. So, you have to set up the environment in a way where they will listen.

 

 

There are ways that teenagers will show you that they're not listening.

For instance,

 

1.     They might just look away. Maybe you've seen that before.

 

2.     Another really common thing is that they don't acknowledge that you're even talking to them. "Yeah, mom, uh-huh, yeah." But they're really not acknowledging. Or you're talking but they're just not there with you. That feels so uncomfortable. But that's their way of not having to deal with what you're really saying to them.

 

3.     Another way that teenagers don't listen is they just simply don't answer you back. They may look at you. They may seem totally fine. But you may ask them a question such as "Where were you after school today?" Yep. They just look at you. Silence. That's hard to know what to do with.

 

4.     Another thing teenagers often do is they'll walk away when you're talking to them. That is never acceptable and if there is one thing that gets a parent's blood boiling, it's when the child starts walking away. Well, we can talk about how to not get your blood boiling.

 

5.     Sometimes they just start doing something else. You tell them "I need you to go and do this thing." They turn they walk away but they don't actually do it. They go call their friend. They go play their game. They sit in their room and listen to music or something else. People call that obstinance, right? It's open defiance. I told you needed to do something but you're obviously choosing not to do it.

 

 All of these things are signs that your teenager is not listening to you. When your teenager won't listen to you, they need to be disciplined. In fact, they're craving it. They're asking for it. They want to know where their boundaries are. So, these are five steps that you can take to discipline your teenager who's not listening to you.

 

 Step Number 1

when it is not the time that you are actually correcting this problem. So, prior to the moment when they've chosen not to listen to you, what you need to do is you need to teach them to look in your eyes when you talk to them. This just needs to be the family way that we discuss things together. When you say, "Jonathan, I need to talk to you. Come here." Jonathan knows. He looks right at your eyes; you look right at his eyes and you both pause to have a moment where the instruction or teaching can sink in. If you establish the habit of looking in each other's eyes whenever communication occurs, this increases the possibility that the child is going to remember what you say and focus on your words as you're saying them.

Step Number 2

children need to be taught the skills they need for communicating effectively with you so that they don't choose not to listen. So, if you've been able to tell, the first 2 steps have to do with correcting a problem before the problem even starts. And that is the best way to handle a problem. In fact,

So, what skills do your children probably need to learn how to do? They need to learn how to follow instructions, accept no answers and criticism, accept consequences and disagree appropriately.

 

Step number 3

To discipline someone means to correct them. So, what you need to do is plan ahead of time exactly how you will handle corrections before they even start. Uh-oh, it's more pre-planning for success and more pre-planning for them to actually listen to you when they need to be.

So, let's say your child is ignoring you when you're talking to them. There's a certain script that you're going to use every single time. Even if they act like they're ignoring you, you know they know exactly what you're saying. So, it doesn't matter if they don't engage with you and act as if they are paying attention. You can rest assured they know the words you're saying and they know the correction that's coming. There are certain steps that we go through in correcting our children. 

One of those key steps is describing what happens then we describe what should have happened and then we tell them what they earned and we practice things the right way. So, that process needs to be understand by the children. So, that they don't feel anxiety that they don't feel like you are doing something out of the ordinary. If they know this automatically before it ever even happens, then even if they're pretending to ignore you or they're walking away, you can say the words and they know what they earned.

  

Step number 4

The children need to know how to stop furthering corrections from occurring. So, some children start ignoring and not listening because they don't want the corrections to happen. Well, then just teach them how to stop a correction. If you teach them how to follow instructions which has 5 steps to it, you look at the person keep a calm face voice and body. Say, "Okay" or you're asked to disagree appropriately. Do the task immediately and then check back. Then why does the person even have to worry about a correction occurring? They can just do those five steps and the correction interaction goes away.

 

Step number 5

You need to teach the children exactly how you'll handle the situation if they choose to continue to go out of control or act like they're not listening to you once you've already done the initial correction.

 

Final Words

In fact, you really shouldn't worry about it. Instead, work on creating the environment and teaching the skills that they need to learn to analyze themselves and to have better self-government.  

Find out Parenting Care Newborns